After the loss of Anthony Bourdain, a lot of Millennials experienced a deep woe. As it is, many of us struggle with finding a vocation that brings us true happiness. We’re raised with the idea that we can do whatever we want. And more often than not, we’re told that true happiness is in exploration, cultural enlightenment, travel, and self-growth. And so naturally, in the wake of Bourdain’s death, a sentiment heard often is, “Anthony Bourdain was rich, a lively person, and traveling the entire world… he had everything, but he was unhappy. What hope is there for me?”
Saying everything I want to say is going to be hard for me because I tend to hide behind my writing. When I write, I become a different person. A more confident person. I get to edit and delete things, no one ever knows where I started and what my writing process looked like throughout, they just see the end result. Writing makes me feel safe. And I used writing as a shield for so long that now my thoughts get jumbled up when I do attempt to speak up. I’m not as eloquent as I feel in my head and I end up hardcore screwing up my intonation (like sometimes I yell when I don’t intend to yell and other times I awkwardly mutter things). It’s just easier for me to listen and respond, rather than talk and engage. I’ve gotten so used to this and hiding behind my writing, that I simply don’t speak up as much as I should or want to. I want to change that because saying what I want to say will increase my happiness levels. There’s one caveat: I need to speak my mind more and complain less.